What to Write in a Card for Someone You Don't Know Well

Sort what you know from what you're guessing

Before writing, make a quick distinction between three kinds of information.

You saw or experienced it. They gave you directions, presented at a meeting, or welcomed you to a class. You can mention that event directly.

They told you about it. They said they were moving, having a birthday, or finishing a course. You can acknowledge the news in the terms they used.

You assume it. They must be excited, they probably love gardening, or their family must be proud. Leave those guesses out unless you have a reason to know they're true.

For example, a plant on someone's desk doesn't establish that gardening is their favorite hobby. “Hope you get a day in the garden” may miss the mark. “Hope you have time for something you enjoy” leaves the choice with them.

This doesn't mean every sentence must be impersonal. You can describe your own reaction: “I enjoyed your talk” is something you know. “Everyone was inspired by your talk” speaks for people you haven't asked.

Choose warmth that fits the moment

For a happy occasion, a straightforward wish is enough:

• “Congratulations on completing the course. Wishing you well with what comes next.”
• “Welcome to the neighborhood. I hope the move goes smoothly.”
• “Happy birthday. It has been nice getting to know you at rehearsals.”

For thanks, name the action rather than guessing at the person's character:

• “Thank you for staying a few minutes to explain the schedule. That helped me get organized.”
• “I appreciated you returning the folder. Thanks for taking the trouble.”

For a difficult occasion, you can keep the note very small:

• “I was sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you and sending my best wishes.”
• “I'm sorry for your loss. Please don't feel you need to reply.”

You don't need to follow a quiet message with a joke or an offer of unlimited help. If you can offer something useful, make it specific and optional. If you can't, the note can end with the wish.

The short thank-you messages guide has more examples for a particular kindness. For a hard week, encouraging messages offers gentler starting points.

Remove the borrowed closeness

A template may say, “You've always been there for me.” If you've spoken twice, changing the name won't make it fit. Replace the claim with something smaller that is true.

Too much history: “Thank you for being such an important part of my journey.”

An observed moment: “Thank you for answering my questions after the session. I left with a clearer idea of where to begin.”

You also don't have to announce how little you know them. “We barely know each other, but…” can make the distance the main subject. Start with the occasion instead.

Skip humor about age, relationships, money, appearance, or personality when you don't know how it will be received. A familiar greeting doesn't need to become a roast to avoid sounding formal.

Make the signature do some useful work

Your first name may not be enough if you met briefly. Add a small identifying detail such as “Taylor, from the Saturday pottery class.” That is more helpful than a long explanation in the message itself.

“Best wishes,” “All the best,” or simply “From” can work. Choose the version you would use in an ordinary conversation with this person. Read the whole note once to check that the opening and closing sound equally warm.

If you'd like to make your own card, WigglePost opens with birthday sample content. Change the occasion, artwork, and words to fit this note before sharing. A plain greeting and a recognizable signature may be all the personalization you need.